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Creating your own wedding traditions

Planning & Styling / Wedding Planning / November 18, 2014
– A note from The F* Yeah Gay Weddings team –

We hope that one day very soon a “gay wedding” will be less of a novelty and be simply seen as a “wedding”. We know it can be tough finding gay-friendly vendors who don’t make us feel awkward, but luckily there are actually heaps of (heterosexual) vendors who are super keen to work with us. Here’s the opinion of one of them.

– Wedding-ing with Joshua –

You’re not bound to decades of same-sex marriage tradition, you can create your own…


I met with a same-sex couple recently and I was so excited, these two were going to be my first, my first real same-sex ceremony! “Consider your same-sex- ceremony cherry popped”, I excitedly told myself on the way to my office. We sat down and I was so excited because sometimes heterosexual couples feel so obliged to follow all of these weird traditions from days gone past, and these two, they could do whatever they wanted.

So I told them the good news “Because your wedding ceremony won’t contain any legal stuff, you’re completely liberated to have your wedding and do whatever you want!” I was soooo excited.
Their faces were stunned.
This was the fatal moment where these two kids in love found out that same-sex marriage wasn’t legal in Australia yet. Lord knows how they thought otherwise, but I had just broken their hearts and they left with chins to their chests deciding that their wedding was canceled. They wanted a real wedding – my heart was broken too.

But the good news I had for them is applicable to you too: you can do whatever you want at your wedding, gay or not. You’re not bound to decades of same-sex marriage tradition, you can create your own and if it’s good, it will no doubt be copied and pinned on Pinterest for decades to come.

So here’s how you both can work out what’s right for you, what to leave out, what to add in, how to make your wedding your own:

  1. So much of the wedding industry and wedding traditions are heavily feminine. Yours doesn’t have to be, or it can be, so consider yourself liberated from the start and you get to make all the choices.
  2. Go back to basics and figure out what you want to achieve, and don’t say the word wedding. You might want to celebrate your commitment to each other in a ceremony with some close friends and family. You may want the day to feel a certain way or look a certain way, so how do we achieve that?
  3. Create wedding traditions that are meaningful, fun, or even funny. For eg; tossing two bouquets … or a guy pulling a garter belt off another guy would be hilarious.
  4. Add wedding traditions, or cultural traditions, or even family traditions, if you find meaning in them or if they’re important to you. An example might be exchanging rings and vows.
  5. As for everything else you’d like to do on the day, it’s your party, celebrating your relationship and your commitment. So, you can either brainstorm ideas yourself or talk to a professional that could offer some advice.

And one day when the world gets straightened out [pardon the pun] and same-sex marriage is legalised globally, we’ll already have some “founding fathers” of the same-sex wedding tradition and same-sex marriages will be better than any others.

Joshua Withers
Joshua Withers

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on November 18, 2014

This is essential in every marriage to create something personal and meaningful as each couple make a commitment in front of hundreds of family and friends or just their two witnesses.

But though it cant be a legal marriage in Australia yet, Im happy to call it a wedding of two people in love.

on November 18, 2014

At our “wedding” we opted for an engagement cocktail party where we surprised everyone with a ceremony! We had no wedding cake, no garter toss, no first dance. Just our friends & family, at a luscious bar, dancing, dancing and more dancing.

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